I thought I should share with you guys what has been going on since my announcement. Well, to be completely honest, I went to the ER and yes I found out I was pregnant with my third child. I also had a stomach flu, and a bladder infection. So it's no wonder that last week I felt horrible. New Year's was fun however. My brother came up for three nights and chilled at my house. He brought an awesome music player sold in "BrookStone" which he worked at during the holidays. It's called "Big Blue" and it made the music from my Ipod and other Mp3 devices sound sweeeeeeeet and awesome! I drank that night and it was fun. Then the next day was the ER incident. So yeah that's how the new year started.

My husband had to drop off my bro three days later. On the way back, he was stuck in traffic and stupid Jersey cops stopped him for no reason and cuffed him and locked him in the police car for a few hours while searching our van. When he was finally released, he noticed that more than half or our $2000.00 check from Uhaul Insurance was stolen from them. So we lost our money to fix our transmission to our car which was damaged by some idiot who moved next to our house back October. He hit it during a snowstorm with a darn Uhaul truck. And two months before that, we lost our first van which we just finished spending $1000.00 or so changing it to the color dark blue to give it a new look. It later was crashed up by some other idiot who decides to turn in front of us and stopping the car instead of of signaling first and going to Dunkin Donuts. AND HERE IS THE KICKER! My brother was driving our green van and was backing and swore he didn't hit the tree, and suddenly the whole back window broke compeletely and there goes our beat up van. And lets' not forget the damage of the transmission, the busted back light, the busted popped out side view mirror, and scratches on it from the impact. Soooooooooooooooooooo yeah, OBVIOUSLY we have bad luck with cars.

To top it off, my husband has had trouble looking for a job that will actually call or accept him already after a whole darn year. He is totally concerned more than ever because his wife aka me is having another son. I'm under a lot of pressure due to the fact that I see this as my last 9 months of living because I don't think my body is strong enough to withstand another labor. I am however facing it anyway for the sake of my son Michael having the chance to live. I will try my best in every way I can think of.

I am thinking of what I should do before my light goes out. I am trying my best to stay calm, not let things get to me. But so much bad luck has struck us for 5 years with financialness already, now my life and Michael's is on the line. My son and daughter's future is on the line. I keep feeling bad that I haven't been here in DA lately, but I thought I should let you guys know what has really been going on.

And yet I can't help but realize I'm still standing above everything bad. Quite the contrary, Michael is a huge dream come true. I just wish we had more for him. I keep thinking about my book series and giving it my all in case this is my last year to live. For the sake of my kids, and if not I have other ways to be there for them. It may not be the best in the world, but if my own hands were to just try something, then with the will that I have within me, I'm sure that something good will come from it. As the Lord's my witness. So here is to EVERYTHING that has been going on. Guess now you guys know why deviations have not been up lately. Also lack of belief that they are good enough may be another reason why I haven't done much art work or book series work lately. But I'm going to try and see what happens from it. It's the least I can do.

If my light is to go out, I want to go knowing I gave it my all and tried my best for my kids and for myself.